I feel like my mind is a complete blur... with so many different thoughts floating around and i can't really figure any of them out...
But something (that really has nothing at all to do with my bad week) that has been stuck in the back of my head... is Father's Day which was last Sunday.
I didn't celebrate this day, or call anyone, or buy any presents. My own dad is a great guy, he lives in Nevada with my step mom, and I care about them very much. However, I've never lived with them or really gotten to experience a life with them... so all I can really go off of is what I know.
There was another guy who was like a dad to me for many years... and it feels really hard that I didnt get the chance to say anything to him on Father's day, ore really even acknowledge him.. and that person is Walt. My mom and walt were married when I was 9 or 10 and I can honestly say that I have never seen two people so happy.. ever. They had their problems like everyone does... but for the most part it was as close to perfect as i've seen.... and for all that time he treated me just like one of his own children, and i feel very happy and blessed to say that he was such a big part of my life..
Tonight I looked up his obituary... it was pretty hard to look at and think that it has been almost six years since he passed away. I still think about him every day and feel sadness at all things my family will never get to do together again...
But i think the reason why i've had these thoughts in my head is because i dont have the chance to tell him personally how great he was... so maybe this will make that a bit better...
Anyways..
Happy Father's Day Walt! We miss you so much!
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ReplyDeleteDear Sam,
ReplyDeleteYou were so right! Reading this did make me feel sad. At the same time, I feel glad that you and I both got to experience such a wonderful example of a loving father figure!
Walter truly loves you! He loved you enough to do the hard things and didn't worry about whether or not you'd be mad at him. He could do that, because everything he did, he did out of love. You and I were so very blessed to get to share his last years with him.
Our time together was way too short (I could have and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him!), but I'm so grateful for the time we did get. Many people have told me that they have never experience love like we shared. I think that is what is truly sad...Walter taught me that real love never ends...that it continues on. He was right! My love for him grows as the years go by. Sometimes that is tough, because at times, I miss him soooooo much and it's difficult not being able to hear his voice, see his face, hear his laughter (especially, when he's telling those corny jokes he liked to tell :), get a hug and kiss from him, etc. But I wouldn't trade the time we did share for anything in this world!
I'm so grateful and will always be grateful that Walter and I got the opportunity to share our love with our children. You all have the example and experience now to know that two people can truly love one another, that marriage can be a wonderful, beautiful thing and that under the toughest of circumstances you can still have all that you really want, if you work for it!
You have a gift with words. I'm impressed at how well you share your emotions and thoughts!
I love you my daughter and am ever grateful to get to share life with you!
Always,
Mom